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Gail Sawyer's avatar

…”Who would we be without the history of those prior relationships? If we met 20 years ago, would we even be ready to be in a relationship with each other?”

Wow. I have been in a relationship now for—as of this month May 11th will be 26 years. He was/is my fourth husband. (What WAS I thinking!??)

Knowing now what I didn’t know then when we first met, I would have told him I wasn’t ready to get together so soon. I was barely 3 years sober and not quite divorced from 10 years with #3. So it would have been, (should have been), A hard no!

Now that we are over 20 years in the future. I would have waited to get to know him, and he me. He probably still would have wanted me, but I think I would have just not ever gotten married again. In fact, I know now I would not have! Now that I’m 71 and living on SS, our marriage is an arrangement of convenience. TMI. LOL! I have my own bedroom, he has his, and “Never the Twain shall meet.” The only thing we do together is watch netflix at night before I go to bed at 8:17. (Really LOL! I start to fall asleep at that strange time.). He stays up later and I never know when he goes off to bed.

But I get to come and go as I please, he does his thing, and It all works for us. But if I had it to do over—I wouldn’t.

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thanks for sharing Gail. I’m glad this resonated for you.

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Lynda Heines's avatar

What great food for thought! My hubby and I have talked about this. We are both on our third marriage, and he has often said he wished he would have met me earlier. However, I know I wasn't ready for him back then. He's a good man, stable, positive and always has my back - reminds me of my dad. I didn't want that years ago. I was into the bad boys, the excitement, and even the heartache. I would have passed him by. So I'm glad we finally met in our 50s, and are happily married for 17 years this September.

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thank you Lynda! Appreciate you sharing this and happy for you. 😊

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Ashley C. Shannon's avatar

What a conversation! I guess if you start to unravel one line of thinking, the whole world is at your disposal! Love your sea spirals! Enjoyed your conversation. Thanks for sharing!!

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thank you Ashley! It has been a fun thread to pull at. 😊

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Lori K's avatar

Lol, love debate back and forth. You are a talented artist!!

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thank you Lori! 😊

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Jodi Rose Crump's avatar

I love this post! I like your boyfriend’s reasoning & thinking-it-through skills, too!

I also wish I could have met my boyfriend about 20 years ago. Well, more like 25 years ago now.

But you’re right, I maybe wouldn’t have been ready for appreciating him as much as I do now. Well, maybe I would. Or I would be me without the trauma because what he is like now is actually who I have always been looking for. Someone who is multi-talented (like me), kind and thoughtful, like me. And financially secure (which I am working at).

I love your spiral drawings & art! Love your SubStack name - “Pretty in Ink” and I also want to give a shout out to my own book coming out on June 1 - “How to Travel Through Time.” Because it applies to your theme here so I thought I would share. My SubStack has a new post about it coming out in about 2 hours - 5pm Central US Time, Monday, May 13.

Thank you for writing this delightful newsletter. I found you through Notes, I think, and have become a subscriber! I look forward to reading more of your newsletters & seeing more of your art! I am trying to get back into doing art and seeing your art will remind me to make my own. 💖

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thank you Jodi, I appreciate your kind words! And congrats on your book!

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Jodi Rose Crump's avatar

Thank you! ✍️

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Laura La Sottile's avatar

I would like a dress in the sea spirals 👗

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

That would be lovely! 👗

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Laura La Sottile's avatar

LOVE THE SEA SPIRALS!!!

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Tanya Madoff's avatar

Thank you Laura! 😊

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